Gnampire Vlad

(Because Vlad is made with cursed hands only):

2 to 4 weeks of lovingly twisted labor go into crafting this nightmarish delight. Good gnomes take time.

Approximate size:13″ x 8.75″

Meet Gnampire Vlad, the undead gnome nightmare your flower bed has been screaming about. Dressed to unimpress in his Count Chocula cosplay cloak and a hat that proudly declares “I Bite” (as if his fangs didn’t already say that for him), this pointy-headed menace is ready to wreak minor havoc on your Halloween shelf — or anyone foolish enough to touch his hat.

Handcrafted with just the right amount of attitude and sarcasm, this ceramic disaster features Vlad’s stylish blood cape, a beard that says “I haven’t seen sunlight in 700 years”, and a hat so tall it might pick up Wi-Fi. Oh, and let’s not ignore the teeny-tiny parasitic gnome growing from his forehead. Because apparently, one Nosfer-gnome wasn’t enough.

But wait — he lights up.
That’s right. Vlad’s got an internal plug-in light because nothing says creepy ambiance like illuminating your poor life choices from the inside out. Whether he’s lurking on a shelf, guarding your candy bowl, or watching over your bathroom with glowing judgment, he’s got one job — to bite. And glow. And silently judge.

Product Features:

• Handmade and hand-painted ceramic gnome with major bloodsucker vibes

• Built-in plug-in light (because of course he glows in the dark)

• Fang-tastic detailing, complete with Dracula cape and “I BITE” hat

• Features a surprise bonus mini-gnome with a bat wing sprouting from his skull

• Perfect for Halloween, goth décor, or chaotic year-round gnome collectors

• Hand-wash only — he’s undead, not indestructible

• Not microwave or dishwasher safe (unless you want a melted Vlad and your soul cursed)